Fix your stage fright.
Want to beat stage fright? Stop performing for everyone. Start speaking to to people who really matter. Start speaking to The Undecided.
The Front Row Man.
Imagine this: you walk out onto the stage and look out into the audience, only to spot that man in the front row of the audience. He’s always there: thin-lipped, arms crossed, legs stretched out in front of him, and a scowl on his face. His mere presence sucks your attention and your confidence. He always seems to be there, at your pitch, your TEDx, or your OMR blue stage keynote note. He’s always a different man, but it’s always a man. He’s always there, and you know it.
Stage fright. Audience fright.
I’m often asked to "Fix my stage fright". What most of these people are actually talking about is "Audience Fright". Some will worry about the size of the audience or the importance of the individuals in the room. Then, some worry about the potential hostility of an audience or others who think they have to win over everybody watching them.
If there's one thing I'd like you to take away from this post, it's that it's unhealthy to try to win over 100% of your audience. In my experience, audiences are comprised of three distinct groups of people, and it's more effective to focus on the only one that matters. Here they are:
The Hostiles. You know who these people are as soon as you take to the stage; they're the head-shakers and the frowners. The front row man obviously belongs to this group. In a pitch? The Hostiles probably want to stay with the incumbent supplier.
The Fans. This part of the audience loves everything you do. They've probably booked you to talk or were the ones who invited you to pitch for the business.
The Undecided. This part of the audience doesn't know you. They're open-minded. They're genuinely interested in solving the problem at hand. At a conference, they may have strayed into the room out of interest or remained seated out of curiosity. They may also be simply indifferent.
Which one would you focus on? Which group do you focus on? It's tempting to attempt to convince the Hostiles they're wrong, isn’t it? You could comfort your ego in the smiling faces of The Fans when the Hostiles have sucked the confidence out of you.
Focusing on The Hostiles and The Fans is a waste of your energy and their time because their minds were made up before you even took to the stage. The real potential, however, lies in obsessing over The Undecided, and this is the group you should focus on.
How to spot The Undecided.
Keep an eye out for individuals taking extensive notes. You're a third of the way through the presentation, and someone's started taking photos of your slides? You've noticed someone has moved from a neutral sitting position to a leaning forward one, or someone a couple of rows back has put their phone to one side and is fully engaged? These are all signs of The Undecided. Engage with these people.
Audience Obsession and The Undecided.
As a Speakery Principle, Audience Obsession not only helps you ditch your ego; it also helps you focus on what matters most. It ensures you focus on the relevant questions for the relevant people. This is The Work, the craft you do before you even take to the stage. It forces you to ask simple questions that lead to audience-focused answers that will resonate the most with The Undecided. Questions like:
What problems should they be solving?
What do they need to hear?
What’s their uncomfortable truth?
Simple questions that aren't easy to answer. But that's the point, right? It's your job to do the heavy cognitive lifting for the audience.
Gain Confidence. Shift your gaze.
We perform for The Undecided. We take them on a journey from neutral to engaged. The next time you go on stage, look out for them in the audience. Make a point of doing it. Forget the haters, the indifferent and the fans! Focus instead on those who haven't yet made up their minds.
We want to connect with audience members looking for answers to questions they didn't know needed asking, and who become excited to discover these answers lead to a solution they didn't know was needed but is.
The next time you're confronted with that grumpy front row man with don't let your confidence be drained by him and the other Hostiles. No! Shift your gaze to the rest of the room and connect with someone who genuinely wants to change.
So if you really want to beat stage fright, stop performing for everyone. Stop trying to convince the front row man. Start speaking to people who really matter. Start speaking to The Undecided.
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